Merry Christmas everyone! We postponed Christmas dinner because we don't want my aunt driving in the rain so I made butternut squash soup for the first course tomorrow, did my favorite puzzle, and almost finished my latest sewing piece (a 5x7 instead of the larger 11x15 ones).

Overall a good day.

 I finally went to spend a few nights at my aunt's, and it's always interesting. Sometimes in a good way (she's basically immediate family since she never married or had kids, so we're like her surrogate kids), and sometimes in a negative fashion (she's hardcore Republican, thinks Bill Gates is out to kill us all, and believes in varying degrees in the other popular right-wing conspiracies). This time it was the contrast between how we handle baking that stood out.

She's been a very good cook and a pretty good baker for most of her life, whereas I've only developed my skills in these areas since the pandemic started. However, when I learn about something I always want to know why certain steps are important and figure out how they fit in the overall result instead of just following instructions to produce something. Most of my life this has served me well in truly understanding and being able to practically apply a new skill, but it takes me a little bit longer to learn since I need the building blocks to fit into a whole in my mind.

This was a recipe I remember her making many times when we were younger, and she said over the past few years the batter never came together properly, as it curdled in the middle of the process. Once I got a look at the recipe card it took me about two minutes to locate the problem. After creaming the butter and sugar together it said to add the orange juice next. Actually, it's very important to emulsify the butter/sugar with the eggs, so that needs to be done before you add any more liquid, which can disrupt the emulsion. I've made that mistake with not emulsifying batter correctly in other recipes, and have taught myself basic food science-approved recipe structure so I know that deviations like the OJ can cause fairly predictable batter disasters.

When my aunt hits a problem like this, she won't Google to find out what could be causing it. She'll try baking it again, but without researching or asking for help (even asking me is a MAJOR step for her), and she doesn't feel comfortable experimenting much. I find it to be a generational difference - if there isn't very detailed guidance from an expert ready and waiting, then it becomes something that "just doesn't work right" and is put to the side without finding a solution. My generation has grown up where technology is changing faster than humans can keep up with it so we troubleshoot, problem solve, and still can't always figure out how to fix it. But we know that temporary defeat does not equal permanent failure most of the time.

I'm already feeling old and I'm far less adaptable than I used to be, so part of it is also the lack of mental space to change habits, but I suppose it shows that I still have a learning spark left in me. I wish I could impart some of that to my aunt, since as she ages she constantly puts herself down for not being able to do what she used to, physically and mentally, but all I can do is support her as best as I can. I'm flattered and proud of her that she asked for my help, and I hope I made her feel comfortable - I had her mix the batter the second time so she can see and feel how easily it comes together with the proper order of ingredients. 

And the cranberry-orange bread tasted wonderful, just like I remembered it :).

 It's been a little over a year since I moved out of NYC. That still bothers me in many ways, but maybe I'm starting to leave it behind. I also literally haven't been back except to see the Van Gogh exhibit, so maybe that's the reason why I don't miss it as much. Maybe I can go back to visit without resenting everything, but maybe not.