Yesterday I was paid the highest compliment I could have received from my boss. He scheduled what was supposed to be a one month follow-up check in meeting, which I found funny because it's actually my 7th week on the job, but better late then never. And I heard those magic words across the Zoom channel:

"I don't mean this in a bad way, but it's like you've always been here."

YES! That is exactly what I'm going for, where I integrate with the team and don't need a lot of handholding or attention. No drama, no problems other than brief guidance of how SIB prefers things done versus at LIB, and I can just get on with my work.

Both directly from my boss's perspective and from the feedback he's received from colleagues and bankers alike it's all positive and everyone is happy with my work. Mission accomplished.

To say that I can't wait to move out is putting it lightly. I'm good at focusing around distractions and I always have music and earbuds in one ear to help me block out general noises. However, in this house it takes more than sheer willpower and a few office tricks I learned to use once we switched to a fully open office at LIB.

They fight. Or more accurately, Mom just yells all day and he tries not to snap back but eventually she wears him down.

Mom randomly appears to ask me about dinner plans (where she still insists I come eat at the table - eating at the computer is another argument I'll never win) or chit chat.

Dad comes in and randomly starts asking me if I noticed his physical therapist's tics because he has Tourette's. Which a) is horribly rude to gossip behind his back and offensive to point it out in the first place but b) he feels compelled to point out every person's flaws including mine so I know why he's doing it but still c) GO AWAY.

I will NEVER again commit to a home office on more than a temporary basis that does not have a door that closes to make people think twice about interrupting. I'm too accessible in the dining room since they literally just wander up to share their unexciting day or pet peeve du jour. And that's not counting constant sounds whenever they're talking themselves through errands and housework, or cursing at not being able to figure out something on their computer (which shares the room with me).

I just want fucking quiet. Doing in-depth research requires being creative and focusing to make sure that I'm remembering all of the places I've found information before, or evaluating databases and digging into their data to see if it's unique and worth whatever the vendor is charging. I love my hours especially because my parents are winding down by 7 or 8 pm, but until then it's open season.

I want to stay until my dad is doing better getting around, which will be about another month, but I may try to move over the summer just so I can get some privacy, peace, and quiet.

 You know how there are bad weeks due to nothing you could control? Yeah, I just had one of those.

Wednesday my dad got a call and I could tell from listening that my cousin with long Covid had passed away. It wasn't expected since she had survived two heart attacks and almost a year with long Covid, but it wasn't unexpected since she kept landing back in the hospital, her kidneys were heading towards failure (she'd been type 2 diabetic for a long time), and she was in a step-down rehab facility at this time. The last time I saw her was in April 2021, right before she got Covid the second time. She could be prickly, but she's always been a part of my life, I loved her, and I will miss her. Still, it's better she went now, before even more serious health issues like dialysis cropped up and while she was in a facility where they found her body quickly. She lived alone in an apartment so it could have been a few days if she had died there.

I asked if there were any arrangements and was told nothing yet, so I went back to work. On Thursday my parents left for NYC to have my dad's hip replaced on Friday at HSS, and I had Good Friday off so while my dad was in surgery I got caught up on errands and bought supplies so I could make dinner when they came home since I know mom would be tired. The surgery went fine, but I know the rehab period is going to be really difficult, particularly since my parents fight at the best of times. They came back on Saturday and sure enough it was the beginning of WWIII.

My mom is a control freak and the stress just makes her yell even more, so my dad will walk to get something and she'll lose it again, rinse, repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat ad nauseam. I don't see it changing either, so I'm just not getting involved and trying to block it out. 

My sister's been in touch over the phone since she's still at my aunt's until tomorrow, and was freaking out about somewhere they went where my aunt refused to wear a mask. She wanted to talk to me so I asked her what that was about - turns out my cousin's wake was held last Friday. She had told mom, who hadn't told me because she was obsessing over the surgery and had forgotten I had the day off so...well, I don't get to say goodbye. It sucks and I really wish I could have been there, but it was Sunday before I found out so that time has obviously passed.

And I know the crappy week will continue since I can't get out of earshot whenever my mom loses it. For once I'm glad my sister's coming back since she gets more visibly upset about them yelling than I do, plus with her OCD personality she'll be trying to get my dad to do less. I feel sorry for him, but not enough to insert myself into the drama. At least I'm working so for 9-10 hours so I have a perfect excuse to not pay attention. And I've said goodbye in my head to my cousin, so that will have to be enough.

For the rest of my time living here with my parents, I think I've finally figured out something that works. Since I can't contribute to dinner during the week, since my lunch is literally my family's dinner time, I'll cook one of the weekend days instead. And knowing me, I"ll likely bake at least one thing as well, so everyone gets dinner and dessert out of it. It's still a hell of a lot more than my sister does, which is absolutely no help whatsoever at any time, so my mom will at least get one day where she doesn't have to cook.

I also like to change up the menu from the standard American/Italian options we grew up with. Yesterday I made Filipino chicken adobo with coconut rice, and have made Thai soups, beef stroganoff, chicken paprikash, and other experiments from America's Test Kitchen's or Mark Bittman's cookbooks. I'm actually impressing myself with my ability to turn out a decent meal for four people. And of course I baked an apple blueberry crumble pie for dessert during the beginning of the week. 

Part of the reason why this is important is because my dad is scheduled to have a hip replacement this coming Friday, so my mom will be spending more time taking care of him. Plus, she doesn't handle stress well so there are bound to be many times where I would have helped out getting chores or cooking done, but now that I'm working full-time it's just not an option anymore. At least not at a time when I won't be waking them up - I'm up until 12 or 1 every night and would love to take a couple hours after work to get stuff done, but that will have to wait until I have my own space and won't disturb anyone.

I hope everything goes as well as it can on Friday. It's a major surgery, but one that he absolutely has to get done or he will be in pain and at risk of fracture for the rest of his life. Recovery will be long and hard, but I really hope that within a couple of months he can walk again without pain.

 So that Mint Chocolate Cookie Cake? Tasted exactly like a York Peppermint Patty and looked just like a Girl Scout cookie Thin Mint since the ganache completely enrobed the cake! I made the frosting layer without the fresh mint since we couldn't find any in the stores around here, but it was just the right amount of peppermint extract so that it wasn't like eating toothpaste, but gave a good, strong mint punch. The cake was light and airy with a solid chocolate flavor and the ganache was the perfect consistency to create a 1/4 inch layer of delicious chocolate coating.

I also made the icing layer all butter instead of half butter, half shortening, since shortening gives a weird, clingy, fatty mouth film that I try to avoid. I think shortening was often used in the South where butter tended to go bad faster in the heat, but like most Southern food traditions like chitlins, frying everything, or sweet tea, I steer clear of it. As far as I'm concerned, the only place for shortening is in pie crust to make it more pliable than an all butter crust.

It seems that my sister also has no plans to come back here for a while, but at least we could finally give her a proper birthday celebration. I can't believe I'm only a month and a half away from my birthday, how time flies!