I FINALLY got a few days in a row off for the first time this year. I took last Thursday, Friday, and this Monday and Tuesday off since everyone else has Wednesday and Friday around Thanksgiving booked, and I've been getting caught up on SO MUCH. My balcony is swept, sliding doors Windexed, and table, chairs, and plants I'm keeping are now indoors. Laundry is done, rent is paid, I got to the boardwalk for exercise by the ocean, and I have all of the ingredients for a pumpkin pie with a gingersnap crust which I'll make tomorrow. I can't do it today because the crust might get soggy by Thanksgiving, and Wednesday I'm back at work, so no time then.

Considering I had two and a half years where I wasn't working, I forgot just how much time a job sucks up from daily existence, plus I work 10 and a half/11 hours a day, so yeah. There were some season-ending things I needed to wrap up that I just hadn't gotten around to, and it's a relief to finally be able to do them. I absolutely appreciate having my own apartment, but all of the upkeep that it entails does take the remainder of the time I have available.

It's also because I tend to be a pretty clean person. Yes, mail may pile up a bit, it's not like I'm completely neglecting the daily chores. The deep clean stuff does have to wait until every month/couple of months though, and stretches like this are perfect for getting those things done. Hopefully it will be a happy Thanksgiving though, and the pie will be as big of a hit as it usually is. It's the first time I've tried pumpkin in this apartment's oven and every oven is different, but I'll just have to watch it and make sure it doesn't overbake (this oven runs hotter than the one at my parents). It will still be better than store-bought though, and the gingersnaps give a perfect complement to the pumpkin pie spices.

One thing I do miss about LIB is that pretty much all of us would pitch in, collaborate, and do what we can. One thing I do not miss with SIB is that when I take the night shift, even though there are technically 2 of us, is that my colleague won't pick up a goddamn thing if it's more than the very basics. So that meant that tonight I did 12 requests, 3 of which were pretty involved and required a lot of back & forth. He took...one simple request. I also checked to see if he had done more with his region, or logged other requests. Nope.

One request over 5 hours. I'm trying not to have a giant fuck-you reaction, but over the year and a half I've watched this happen, where I'm killing myself to try and keep up and he does exactly nothing, I may have to raise this as an issue. It's...a sensitive topic and I may get my butt fired by doing so. He's fun and I like him, but if you see 14 requests pile up in the box while I'm already working on 3, help maybe? It's not a giant idea to look at that and in the meantime my work suffers because I'm trying to work on the 3 most complicated and I can't pay attention the way I should when working with multiple databases and multiple screens at the same time. I literally have no more bandwidth and am already screwing up what I'm doing from being over-extended so help would be appreciated.

I also am now apparently in charge of London's bouncebacks which I do not begrudge them. They work as hard as I do. But things sit in the box all day and are left to 5pm+ at night (US time) so I do them or they wait 18+ hours. Really guys, you came in at 9 am or before, no one bothered to pick these up?

All I can think is either participating in the mess or trying to ask about it. Participating would preserve my job. My instinct is to try and fix. I need to figure out where I can land.

 My family is getting better slowly but surely, but still testing positive so I can't see them or help them, unfortunately. No one was hospitalized but my mom got a secondary sinus infection (which she has always had a weakness for) so she's on antibiotics too. Still, improvement and treatment is where thy are right now.

My aunt called to check on me yesterday, but inevitably most of my conversations with her eventually spiral back to Fox News talking points, and then she tries to tell me I started it. No, I responded with empathy to the fact that you said something horribly racist and I won't agree with it. "The turbanheads streaming across the border" will never be a part of my vocabulary for so many reasons, and I countered with would you say the same if it was people with yarmulkes?

She deflected with "Well, when we immigrated it was Polish, Irish, and Italians" and I said yes, but the Anglo-Americans still hated us back then. Isn't it better to break the hate chain rather than committing the same sins? I don't know how she can't see that this is the same stupid argument again and again, and that hating people is not going to solve anything. It's not about race, or religion. It's about seeing each individual as someone wanting a better life. If they commit a crime, as Fox News cherry-picks and focuses on, put them on trial and jail them if that is the verdict. But that applies across everyone, regardless of where they came from.

I don't know how else to work with her. I love her, but I do not love or agree with her views. Unless she learns to see people as just people doing the best they can, I don't think I ever will. And I will miss the woman I know she could be.

I'm ready and willing to work, but the solo work night after night is getting to me. Especially when I log on in the morning and I find things left for me after 12+ hours. So tonight I left a test. One follow-up from a colleague where the banker didn't reply as to which files they want updated. One just a test to see if anyone on the day shift will bother to pick it up. The rest because it was crazy busy and I half assed it in the finest Simpsons tradition to get something to every banker, even if it wasn't perfect.

Do I feel proud? No. But do I think it will tell a lot about my colleagues when I log in tomorrow? Yes.