I think I'm slowly realizing that I simply can't afford to live alone in Manhattan in a studio. I was depending on being able to renew my tiny apartment, but without that guarantee, I can't pay another broker's fee for any studio above $1250, and the non-broker fee apartment seem to run aroun $1500 or more, which is simply scary considering that would be over 50% of my take-home pay. It's simply not a one-person economy anymore.

Luckily, at least most areas in my life that have pretty much completely sucked for the past year or more are finally ironing themselves out. I love my new job. I have a somewhat stable set of "friends" although many of them are simply bar friends. I feel like some kind of happiness is finally approaching, or has even arrived in a very strange way. Apparently the changes of job, knowing that those who knew about my old blog who I truly wanted to cut contact with are mostly gone, and the major positive changes that seem to be slowly happening are an amazing ego boost at the time when I need it most - when I'm entering a new field and have to trust myself and my abilities to make the best impression possible.

Miracles apparently can happen :-D.