On Saturday I see the Dark Knight again for the 3rd time (once on opening night, once in IMAX, now again on a regular screen with my sister). This movie is dark genius; a philosophical, sociological, sadistic homage to the deeper meanings of comic books, particularly Batman, which has taken some darker turns than other DC characters. I'm highly looking forward to it again even though I know the plot twists, since the movie has far more than that.

This week has been Restaurant Week again in NYC, which means I went to two restaurants I would normally not afford, but a prix fixe of $35 for dinner (appetizer, entree, and dessert) was too good to pass up. Two excellent dinners later, I'm actually glad to relax for a night after 3 nights (including pool league) where I wasn't home before 11.

Speaking of pool league, I may have found a new booty call, far overdue, but better late than never. Strangely enough, he does know my RNR, which may be a bit awkward in my mind, but that shall be figured out in time. Nothing's happened yet, so it's too early to know, but I do know that I'm ready for another non-committal relationship, rather than occasional one-night stands. Somehow, I think I'm somewhat maturing in a diagonal fashion - heading into adulthood in a slightly altered city from the rest of the world. Maybe it will lead to something more with someone else, maybe it'll be just for the moment. But at least it's a try.

I'm finally working on the savings issue, since interest rates are absolutely pitiful since deregulation. ING has a deal that gives the best rate I remember seeing in my life, since I don't remember the days where average interest was 5-6%. I figure with some luck and perseverance, that may increase what I have available.

I'm now on Monday pool leagues, but out of a different bar, one closer to where I live and without the fun little dramas that occurred (rarely as a result of me, shockingly) on my last team. It's a great break, and there are some characters as always, although not as extreme as my last team. Overall, it's been interesting.

Work is interesting since every other person I talk to is assured that they will be the ones fired in the upcoming cut (prob. Nov.). Sure, I think that there's a possibility I'll be on the cut list, but overall, I think I'm pretty safe. So I listen, I reassure as possible, and try not to cast doubt where it isn't needed, since God knows it's already there.

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to work in a non-recession environment. When I first graduated, it was 2001, and Sept. 11 happened the week before I started my under-employed job. From there, it was grad school until 2004, fighting for a space in a radically changing profession that refuses to change, until I found this job.

Now I'm watching the financials, wondering, worrying, as do others. I'm depending on my competence first, my salary next, and my age last, to try and hold on to the job despite all. I don't understand how those who have been in the job as long as they have can still not maximize their particular advantages over everyone else. I've been doing it so long (and without making enemies for the most part), that I have a particular person calling me for advice on office politics.

Ironic, considering the fact that I was trying to fight joining in politics all through high school and college. I was much more innocent. Now, I'm still naive in many ways, but I know certain things to keep close to the vest. In the end, as of most times, my parents were right. Politics is a way of life and the best thing to do is to use it to your advantage without actively stepping on others (something I'm highly opposed to). Work issues tend to take up most of my thoughts, simply for monetary issues. Other things have occurred, to be done in another blog, but for now, this is priority in my mind. I think I'll make it. I just hate to see the cuts for those who don't deserve it, and I know they're coming.

Claire, I'm glad you've found me and given me reason to write again. I ended my last blog because I realized that too many people who I didn't want to ever read it could find it, and also because those who I were fine with reading it found it "too depressing." That was then.

Now? Now I'm not sure. I had a presence (although slight) on the internet at one point, and ended up regretting it. What do I say? What do I hold back? I've thought a lot about that since my last post and am still no closer to an absolute answer. I suppose it will be case by case.

For now I'm doing well, enjoying my job at LIB, and living a very different sort of life than I had in any of my previous lives (or at least that's how it feels looking back at the many changes in such a short amount of time). I've learned an incredible amount about human nature and fallibility, including mine, but also realized that it's possible to take the middle, while acknowledging both sides.

Last season, one of my teammates had been in jail for years (thank you Rockefeller laws) for being a drug dealer. He still has one bullet in his back, and the one the doctors found was removed. This one went too deep and was too small. And yet, he and I were great matches; he's out of the biz, and I still find out where he's playing on league nights and go say hi. This is New York, where everyone of many classes and moral standards mixes. It fits my philosophy, which I found few proponents of elsewhere.

On that note, I'm trying for a down payment on a studio in Manhattan by the end of 2009. I think I can bring almost $80,000 to the table at this point from saving since I was 14 and some help from my parents, so I may find a niche for myself where I'm no longer worried about fighting for rent, fighting for a job, fighting to find a place for myself where I feel comfortable and not exploited. Something stable, but where I want it and on my terms. I've made a lot of progress in many ways, accepted my faults in other ways, but I think for the first time since I was 16, I may have found some temporary peace. Nothing's perfect, but I will take what I can while I can.