And it's another year, one I'm thankful for and yet at the same time somewhat wishing that the Mayan apocalypse had happened. I try to be happy; to be upbeat despite all other influences inside and outside, but every year seems to be harder. How to reconcile this is the largest question in my life right now, but I seem to have few answers other than keep moving forward regardless.
Lately I've been having quite a bit of pain from adhesions left from the appendicitis/internal bleeding/abscess surgeries I had back in 2000. It flares up from time to time, generally relating to stress, how well I've been sleeping, and who knows what else. All I know is that it hurt me all day today sitting at my desk, an occasionally flaming pain in my mid-right abdomen as I tried to stretch it out at regular intervals.
Originally I was angry often about this - the incompetence that caused three operations for the above reasons in 3 subsequent weeks and that almost killed me (literally, blood pressure 40/20 before they finally tranfused me). There was the adjustment back to college after a semester of recovery, then finding out that according to medical bias I couldn't sue or gain anything except pain from this. The belief it was over. Then the recurrent pain, year after year. Now I think it's just like many other things, the economy, the lack of raises, the constant rise of costs, rent, health insurance, every other expense you can imagine versus anyone's income; pain and disappointment. What was supposed to happen didn't, in fact did the opposite and made things worse due to incompetence and (in some cases malpractice).
What to do? I'm trying to switch to e-cigarettes instead of the actual, trying to rest more although the stress from working has been wearing on me, and in general just trying to make things workable. The added pain has really blindsided me though, no real reason, just bam, a week ago it hurt to move. Sometimes I wonder when I'll ever be free of these unexpected blindsides, but know I must keep moving on. I will keep moving on.
Lately I've been having quite a bit of pain from adhesions left from the appendicitis/internal bleeding/abscess surgeries I had back in 2000. It flares up from time to time, generally relating to stress, how well I've been sleeping, and who knows what else. All I know is that it hurt me all day today sitting at my desk, an occasionally flaming pain in my mid-right abdomen as I tried to stretch it out at regular intervals.
Originally I was angry often about this - the incompetence that caused three operations for the above reasons in 3 subsequent weeks and that almost killed me (literally, blood pressure 40/20 before they finally tranfused me). There was the adjustment back to college after a semester of recovery, then finding out that according to medical bias I couldn't sue or gain anything except pain from this. The belief it was over. Then the recurrent pain, year after year. Now I think it's just like many other things, the economy, the lack of raises, the constant rise of costs, rent, health insurance, every other expense you can imagine versus anyone's income; pain and disappointment. What was supposed to happen didn't, in fact did the opposite and made things worse due to incompetence and (in some cases malpractice).
What to do? I'm trying to switch to e-cigarettes instead of the actual, trying to rest more although the stress from working has been wearing on me, and in general just trying to make things workable. The added pain has really blindsided me though, no real reason, just bam, a week ago it hurt to move. Sometimes I wonder when I'll ever be free of these unexpected blindsides, but know I must keep moving on. I will keep moving on.
posted by AnonymousX at 10:21 PM
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