Today was the day.  At 8:30 am I began to say my final goodbye to my aunt in the funeral home.  I placed my card next to her body in the coffin, and we buried her at 12 pm.  At the repast we were saying goodbye to everyone, and I almost turned to find her in her wheelchair to kiss her goodbye as a reflex action.  And then I remembered.

Even though she was sick for a long time, she's been there my entire life, and knowing she'll never be there again hurts so much.  I know that it's for the best, for her sake since she's no longer in constant pain, but it's hard to know that I'll miss her this much.

Embarrassingly, my 11 year old cousin cried less than I did, although I was never bawling.  I save that for home.  I know this level of pain will pass, but in the meantime, it really, really sucks.

I'm ready for a new year.