I hardly know what to think nowadays.  Every time something in my life starts to make sense, something else seems to contradict it.  I know that this everyone feels this way sometimes, but lately it seems more extreme.

People who I feel should have made the effort to stay in touch have fallen out of touch despite everything.  Those who you never expected to hear from again are the ones who persevere and make you feel like you are worth a little extra effort.  It's been a particularly painful period (period being the past six years) in terms of friends, contacts, acquaintances, and the flux in between, and now I have a slightly thorny problem of someone who was supposed to be a one-night stand, but who has shown more commitment to keeping in touch despite my avoidance than those who were once my best friends.

Is it because he's older and understands some of the mental shit I offloaded on him since he's had more of the kind of experiences that broke me and continue to plague me?  Is it because he also feels alone here and is dealing with shit of his own that he wants a sympathetic ear?  I don't know.

One of the best friends I have I made here in the city over the span of a scant few months.  We connected on many levels, primarily that we understand just how hard it can be to try to live a "normal" life when dealing with abnormal things on a regular basis, and to this day she's the first person I call when the daily grind becomes overwhelming. It seems that the more intense the interaction and understanding, the longer and deeper the friendship lasts.

Where will this go?  No one knows.  I guess I'll figure this out one day, and know who to trust and who not to, and realize that every time you figure it out, the rules change.  That's life.