So here it is.  Apparently (and I was not aware this was even possible), I've managed to precipitate a movement disorder that may or may not be permanent.  It's not Parkinson's, actually it's kind of the opposite of Parkinson's since my tremors are gone when totally at rest but worsen as I try to use my hands. That basically means that writing Christmas cards, as well as going out for coffee or to eat with others is kind of off the table unless they know what the deal is, or unless I want a lot of uncomfortable glances or questions.

It's been months of dealing with this, and I've been to Columbia's Neurology Institute twice, so it's pretty much a reliable diagnosis.  The rub here is Easter.  I have to go home since that's normal, and then explain the abnormal.

In the past, with anything physical like my appendicitis or hernias, my family is basically supportive, if sometimes in the wrong way.  When it comes to possibly permanent conditions, they deny.  I've read up on this condition and it can be temporary, intermittently affect me the rest of my life, or be permanent for the rest of my life depending on how I respond to treatment, which is very unreliable for this condition.

It seems like for the past few years every time I've turned one positive corner a brick wall slams me in the face and knocks me back. I want something to go right, I want something positive to happen, I want to be recognized for what I've given up, what I struggle against daily, weekly, monthly, and what I still manage to push and live through despite how relatively terrible the past 6 years have been.

I just hope my family will support me; I already know that my friends do, which is why they're my first confidants.  It's going to be an interesting weekend.