Yesterday, okay, granted it was a stressful day at work since we are SO understaffed and we don't have a prayer of catching up that by 5:30 of hardcore mental gymnastics I'm ready to collapse.  Also not helping was that it was the last week of the pool season and many nights we've had to forfeit  from people not showing up.  Still, I felt mentally confused, totally emotional (I actually embarrassingly cried after losing my match), and left early.

Today?  Yeah, turns out a lot of it was PMS.  How can I experience PMS for the past 20 years of my life and STILL not recognize the symptoms?  Is this some stupid female brain thing that automatically throws us so off mentally that we somehow forget from month to month?   Damn, I wish this would go away, along with the other crap that's been happening. 

On the plus side, I've started cleaning (okay, not a deep clean, but enough) in preparation for one of my best friends who will be staying with me for the end of May (YAY!), finally purchased multiple toiletries and items that I'm almost running out of (leading to an over $100 bill, which sucks, but was necessary with NY prices), and if I can't get my mental house in order, at least try to get my physical apartment in order.  Small steps.  Try to remember it's all about the small steps.