This weekend rest has been the main theme. I didn't realize just how worn-down my body was, so I've slept til 1pm all 3 days. I'm still tired; I think I would need about three months off to really recover (which is why I miss summer vacation so much from being in school). Partly it's because I do not respond well to heat, so summer just saps my strength. Partly it's all of the events of the past months. Partly it's because work is taking a greater and greater toll.
We're busy. Like 2007 busy again, which is good in job security ways, but not in terms of the fact I'm one of the most experienced researchers there now. In 2007, a lot of time was spent on fairly basic work for me since I'd only started in late 2006 and I hadn't developed the skill set I have now. Some of it's my own fault since I set out to replicate the quant skills that only two other people in our department have, one who has now been promoted and is off the queue and one who is nearing retirement and is basically marking time, so it all falls to me.
The other piece is my specialty in healthcare. For various reasons, healthcare questions intimidate almost all of my colleagues, probably because librarians naturally come from a liberal arts background, and offshore, librarian isn't really a true job so they have no background in the industry. Again, it all falls to me.
Job security? Great. Ability to not burn out? Not so great. Even sitting on the banker floor is tough for me since that adds another level of stress since I can be approached by anyone at any time to do specialized work. I do so much "off the books" that I have a special folder every quarter to save files and research that never gets officially logged since those are the direct requests that take less than half an hour. If you add those half hours up though, it's rather daunting. All of this makes me less than willing to get out of bed in the morning if my energy is already at an ebb.
I wish there was a program like professors to take a sabbatical every few years, hell, even every 7 or 10 years so there was some actual break to look forward to. Don't get me wrong, I'm lucky to have 4 weeks of vacation every year, but unfortunately my intellectual ability has always outstripped my physical stamina and this job is no exception. Not to mention when I took a full week off last year things did not get done as they should have since I have virtually no backup.
I wish I could be one of those people who is okay with sleepwalking through the job, accept substandard work, and don't feel a terrible sense of responsibility and urge for perfection. Lately I've been somewhat horrified at the brain freezes I've been having which have never happened as often in the past. It's a mix of stupefaction at the question and resignation that I will be sending out what I consider substandard work (although in the grand scheme of things it's probably better than what would be sent otherwise).
I'm feeling better but there's still a long way to go. I need to reconcile this at work now that the switch has happened and I have a chance of having more energy to channel. I can only hope, and start this coming week with some plan to make things easier for myself before I throw up my hands and start refusing work like my colleague or just go through the motions and the script, reducing the quality of my work.
We're busy. Like 2007 busy again, which is good in job security ways, but not in terms of the fact I'm one of the most experienced researchers there now. In 2007, a lot of time was spent on fairly basic work for me since I'd only started in late 2006 and I hadn't developed the skill set I have now. Some of it's my own fault since I set out to replicate the quant skills that only two other people in our department have, one who has now been promoted and is off the queue and one who is nearing retirement and is basically marking time, so it all falls to me.
The other piece is my specialty in healthcare. For various reasons, healthcare questions intimidate almost all of my colleagues, probably because librarians naturally come from a liberal arts background, and offshore, librarian isn't really a true job so they have no background in the industry. Again, it all falls to me.
Job security? Great. Ability to not burn out? Not so great. Even sitting on the banker floor is tough for me since that adds another level of stress since I can be approached by anyone at any time to do specialized work. I do so much "off the books" that I have a special folder every quarter to save files and research that never gets officially logged since those are the direct requests that take less than half an hour. If you add those half hours up though, it's rather daunting. All of this makes me less than willing to get out of bed in the morning if my energy is already at an ebb.
I wish there was a program like professors to take a sabbatical every few years, hell, even every 7 or 10 years so there was some actual break to look forward to. Don't get me wrong, I'm lucky to have 4 weeks of vacation every year, but unfortunately my intellectual ability has always outstripped my physical stamina and this job is no exception. Not to mention when I took a full week off last year things did not get done as they should have since I have virtually no backup.
I wish I could be one of those people who is okay with sleepwalking through the job, accept substandard work, and don't feel a terrible sense of responsibility and urge for perfection. Lately I've been somewhat horrified at the brain freezes I've been having which have never happened as often in the past. It's a mix of stupefaction at the question and resignation that I will be sending out what I consider substandard work (although in the grand scheme of things it's probably better than what would be sent otherwise).
I'm feeling better but there's still a long way to go. I need to reconcile this at work now that the switch has happened and I have a chance of having more energy to channel. I can only hope, and start this coming week with some plan to make things easier for myself before I throw up my hands and start refusing work like my colleague or just go through the motions and the script, reducing the quality of my work.
posted by AnonymousX at 3:10 PM
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