Now that I've had some time to let this sink in, I'm somewhat less upset.  There are far worse things that they can do to us, and in comparison, this isn't an impossibility.  There's also time; when we moved across the street it was a full 2 months past the original deadline.  In between I need to get things in order just in case this is the death knell of our department.

I went through my filing cabinet to clean out old bills.  I'm catching up on everything medical, dental, and vision related.  I'm re-establishing connections and putting more effort into those that I have in the city.  I'm still exhausted from the Summer of Sickness I experienced, but somewhere along the way I've gained a little extra energy, a little more positivity, and am trying to run with it while I can.

It's time.  It's time to really evaluate where I am and where I want to be, which scares the living hell out of me. I've made this resolution before, but it's time to pick myself up and start living again.  It's so easy to fall into a routine and unfortunately, in this world, particularly in my firm and my profession, we're the first targets to be expunged during staff reductions.  And yes, I mean expunged since we're viewed by our higher ups as an expense, not an asset.

Will it work?  Will I really change and take the chance of looking around, knowing that I'm leaving the smartest and most competent colleagues I've EVER had?  I don't want to, but sometimes it's worth testing the waters at least.