Today I've been reminding myself how fortunate I am.  It's too easy in today's world to get caught up in your own small miseries while others are going through your worst day multiplied by 100.  I've been taking for granted many things and people, focusing on the stress and the negativity that can so easily dominate my thoughts.  Lifetime habits are incredibly difficult to break, but I'm at least trying to mitigate this.

I've worked too hard to surrender, to drift on the personal thoughts that drag me down instead of seeing the whole picture.  I don't expect these thoughts to go away.  I have probably about twice the average person's ability for mental flagellation, so I have to work that much harder to stand up to it.  But there are so many things to be thankful for, and not just on Thanksgiving.

I need to re-frame.  Instead of being angry at my asshole neighbor, I should look at the fact that I can afford my own apartment in NYC.  Instead of being incredibly stressed that no one can back me up at work, I should be grateful that I have a job that challenges me, and gives me work of such complexity that it can't be addressed without my skills.  Instead of dreading family time, I should try to put aside old grievances and appreciate that I have that family.

I know it's Pollyanna.  I'm not going to succeed all the time; maybe not even the majority of the time.  But with all that's happened I have to apply hard lessons that are only learned through experience in terms of how much you can cause your own problems.  Sometimes I wonder what it must be like to wake up and not worry about the day from the second you open your eyes.  I know many people do it every day.  For me, I'll try to deflect the worry reflex and look at the best thing that will happen in that day, or at least try.  I think that might be a good way to start.