One of the strangest things about NYC versus other places in our nation is how public everything is. On our regular days, we go out and have a great time, reveling in the attention. On our worst days, we cry in public and someday realize the fact that we really don't give a damn about what people think walking by. We belong here where things are raw and in your face, and that's okay.
How I Met Your Mother was set in New York and of course wasn't realistic about a lot of things, but there was an episode I always strongly identify with called Subway Wars. Along with the major narrative of twenty-somethings trying to prove their ability that they are a success in some way, there's the "rules" of being a real New Yorker. One rule was crying on the subway and not caring about being seen. Public displays of emotion (PDE rather than PDA) are common, as are public fights, not just in the subway but on the streets. Even if you are the PDE, you just go wherever you're headed afterward with minimal embarrassment; you cry or rage, find your way to your intended destination, glare at obvious awkward glances, acknowledge the sympathetic ones, and don't feel ashamed at displaying in public what would be private emotions elsewhere.
I think a lot of being okay with this has to do with what type of person you are in terms of being comfortable in how you see yourself overall. I tend to be a fairly private, self-conscious person, but over years here I've adjusted. I've cried, I've laughed, I've had PDAs and many PDEs. And every time it happened, something else occurred. Incrementally I became more comfortable with myself and my emotions, and truly realized that I'm not the center of the universe, I'm a peripheral that others see as they go about their business. If something happens publicly, I no longer want to fade to invisibility, but will pick myself up afterwards and move on without the crushing shame that enveloped me in earlier years.
On the other side, you acquire an ability to ignore the PDEs you see and respect their public privacy (oxymoron, I know), pass the homeless and beggars without giving money since at least half are scams, and still give to real charities to address the non-scam PDEs. All the while knowing that the mass crowds of humanity surrounding you all have their own stories. And on a positive side, sometimes you have someone to help you through a PDE, even a complete stranger, which I've also witnessed many times.
NYC can rekindle your faith in humanity since it exposes so much of what is hidden elsewhere, and shows the extreme positives and negatives that occur every day. Here we can face them, and sometimes improve our and other peoples' lives, openly and without shame.
How I Met Your Mother was set in New York and of course wasn't realistic about a lot of things, but there was an episode I always strongly identify with called Subway Wars. Along with the major narrative of twenty-somethings trying to prove their ability that they are a success in some way, there's the "rules" of being a real New Yorker. One rule was crying on the subway and not caring about being seen. Public displays of emotion (PDE rather than PDA) are common, as are public fights, not just in the subway but on the streets. Even if you are the PDE, you just go wherever you're headed afterward with minimal embarrassment; you cry or rage, find your way to your intended destination, glare at obvious awkward glances, acknowledge the sympathetic ones, and don't feel ashamed at displaying in public what would be private emotions elsewhere.
I think a lot of being okay with this has to do with what type of person you are in terms of being comfortable in how you see yourself overall. I tend to be a fairly private, self-conscious person, but over years here I've adjusted. I've cried, I've laughed, I've had PDAs and many PDEs. And every time it happened, something else occurred. Incrementally I became more comfortable with myself and my emotions, and truly realized that I'm not the center of the universe, I'm a peripheral that others see as they go about their business. If something happens publicly, I no longer want to fade to invisibility, but will pick myself up afterwards and move on without the crushing shame that enveloped me in earlier years.
On the other side, you acquire an ability to ignore the PDEs you see and respect their public privacy (oxymoron, I know), pass the homeless and beggars without giving money since at least half are scams, and still give to real charities to address the non-scam PDEs. All the while knowing that the mass crowds of humanity surrounding you all have their own stories. And on a positive side, sometimes you have someone to help you through a PDE, even a complete stranger, which I've also witnessed many times.
NYC can rekindle your faith in humanity since it exposes so much of what is hidden elsewhere, and shows the extreme positives and negatives that occur every day. Here we can face them, and sometimes improve our and other peoples' lives, openly and without shame.
posted by AnonymousX at 10:28 PM
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