I always find it odd that non-New Yorkers never quite realize just how dense the population is here compared to the rest of the nation. Crowds don't bother me, and I realize when you're attending a very popular public event, you're lucky to be able to move in any direction. I invited my parents in to see the Halloween parade, knowing our chance was about zero, but it certainly gave them a new perspective :).

We had dinner at 5 on the UES, and the parade assembles around 6 at Canal St., so by the time we got down there, of course it was a madhouse. We ended up just going for coffee once we cleared the crush of people at 14th and 6th, and had a wonderful evening anyway.

The packed nature of the city is something that people either deal with well, or decide they can't handle it and/or freak out when it happens. Living here long term, you have to be able to adjust to how the majority of our city exists on a daily basis, most definitely including mass transit.

Luckily, I'm calm in a stampede of people that has left me pressed up against the subway car rail with some random guy basically spooning me out of necessity. I don't hesitate to crowd onto the car, especially if I know there's a problem on the 4-5-6 and another train won't be coming for a while. If you want to get to work, you join the press of commuters no matter what. I smile and let the random person know with my gaze that "It's ok, but if you grope me I will make you hurt with a quick elbow jab."

I think most people have difficulty trying to impose control and responsibility in their commute. I've admitted that on the subway it's out of our hands, so you just work with the possibilities. If you wait 2 minutes for the 4 to show up instead of the packed 5 because the 2/5 is having signal problems, I do it. Same thing with the 51st St. 6 stop. I've waited 2 minutes to watch a cattle car leave only to have one arrive that's relatively (and sometimes almost) empty. Not my fault; I'm working the system and that's the game you work with.

Everything is a process, but after many years watching the dynamics, the flow and ebb of mass transit, it's always special to watch the reaction of vacationers who chose the wrong time to board the subway. They desperately try to dig out maps of the subway system to figure out what to do and where they're going. I help when I can if I hear those basic questions. Where are they going? What option is best to arrive at their destination? What are the alternates if the line breaks down?  Either way, they have to be used to a crowd which is a mix of tourists, commuters, and NYC natives going with them.

The subway and other public events/transit are not for the faint of heart, no matter where you're from. I find myself at home with the anonymity, the random encounters, and what occurs when you find your groove (so to speak). I get it. I don't step in with others unless it's obviously the polite thing to do. Stop it. Take care of yourself; do not antagonize or encourage fights.

You can deal. You know how to move with the crowds, how to work around difficulties getting home on what should be a simple ride. Most of all you move, to the subway, the bus if the subway's not working, a taxi if there's too much of a line, and finally your feet are the last resort. You always know that there are literally millions of people doing the same.  If you approach every day with a sense of humor and an understanding of how predictability is not always an option, then your commute and life will be much easier, tourist or otherwise. And you will experience something not found anywhere else. A sense of exhilaration that as most others age and get stuck in controlling ruts, you keep that mental flexibility to work with what you have and make the best of it.