I have a chip in a front tooth that’s visible when I smile. My dentist offers time and time again to fix it since “it would only take a minute.” I always say no. If someone looks at me and is repulsed by that, then I don’t want to know that person since they’re looking for perfection. I’m not perfect and have never claimed to be.

For most of my life that was the standard I was held to; it wasn’t enough to have good grades and stay on the straight and narrow, but I had to excel in everything I possibly could. Like so many other families, that pressure backfired spectacularly for us. I’m paying the price to this day, knowing that our flaws have become visible emotional and physical cracks

For me it’s more than a chip in a tooth, it’s an acceptance that I can’t be the perfect one, or the one finding pleasure in those expectations and excelling in (in my mind useless) competitions. It’s paying in neuroses and physical illnesses that manifest over time. I was hurt by this pressure, but now at least I'm trying to embrace and work these imperfections into my life so that I'm comfortable with them.

My parents are trying to play catch-up to adjust to the new reality, and I know that they never meant to cause these consequences, but once you’ve gone a certain distance there’s no going back. And we’re all realizing that it’s not that bad of a thing to reframe and retool when we’re older to have a new family dynamic, flaws and all. I’m hopeful that we’re dealing with a better late than never philosophy, and I'm learning to live with gradual improvement from a far from ideal point. But I'm still not getting my tooth fixed :).