So the drama is finally over. I opted out of the program myself since I'm not having my needs met and it's just been a giant shit show since the beginning. I was actually having anxiety attacks over going, which is the exact opposite of how this is supposed to work and the experiences others were having. A clear sign that this is not for me.

I'm not minimizing others' situations, two were going through ugly divorces and everyone of course had the mental and emotional stress of recovery. Yet I was the only one in constant chronic pain and occasional acute pain for 17 years. I was the only one with a long history of mental illness stretching over 24 years. Both contributed heavily over time to my problem, and whenever I brought these subjects up it was crickets in group. No one could relate, and that was the final reason I decided to let the group go.

That's not to say that I'm giving up. There are and will be other avenues to arrive where I need to be, and I'll work on those. I just can't give the time and effort to something that has been so poorly handled and doesn't address the mental and physical difficulties I have, so much so that I felt like an alienated outlier. I think it's the right thing to do for me, and I made a proper, official exit unlike any others who just stopped showing up. The closure will help for all of us; I trusted them to respect that and they did. At least I left on a high note.