For the first time I've showed up at my hepatologist's office and could say that I've been sober for more than a few days, an achievement that both of us are happy for. Tuesday I'll have another blood test, and with a few exceptions such as cholesterol (which I don't really count) I should be in or close to the normal ranges, meaning that my body's finally repairing itself from the decades-long abuse I've subjected it to.
Also helping is the amount of sleep I've been getting since I know this is the last week before I go back to work. I've napped three times this past week, and today slept from 11pm last night to 11am, then back to bed from 2pm-6pm. Some people go to AA meetings to invigorate themselves; I get as much sleep as my body tells me I need.
When I was in rehab we were never allowed to sleep before 10:30pm or past 9am and no naps, even on the weekends. There was lip service about structured lifestyles and accountability, but there were many days I just wanted to crawl back into bed. The oddest attendance pressure was the "optional" Early Bird AA meeting in town at 7:30-8:30am, yet transportation wasn't provided by the facility, just by volunteers from the meeting. I went once to find a room of around 70 people, and between the meeting size (I hate meetings over 25 people max), psychotically early timing, and lack of reliable transportation, that one experience was enough. Some people loved it, but I was not one of them.
What I'm really trying to say is that I'm still adjusting to a fundamental shift in my life. There's a script that works for a lot of people that I'm supposed to be following but I'm not feeling it at all, just making occasional stabs whenever I get the energy to do so. We're told to watch out for HALT - hungry, angry, lonely, tired. Hunger I'm used to, anger I've got mostly under control, lonely I've lived with for a long time and have solo hobbies, but being tired is my most important stumbling block that I'm working on. It's a small step, but I think I'll start there. The rest of AA "wisdom" can follow.
Also helping is the amount of sleep I've been getting since I know this is the last week before I go back to work. I've napped three times this past week, and today slept from 11pm last night to 11am, then back to bed from 2pm-6pm. Some people go to AA meetings to invigorate themselves; I get as much sleep as my body tells me I need.
When I was in rehab we were never allowed to sleep before 10:30pm or past 9am and no naps, even on the weekends. There was lip service about structured lifestyles and accountability, but there were many days I just wanted to crawl back into bed. The oddest attendance pressure was the "optional" Early Bird AA meeting in town at 7:30-8:30am, yet transportation wasn't provided by the facility, just by volunteers from the meeting. I went once to find a room of around 70 people, and between the meeting size (I hate meetings over 25 people max), psychotically early timing, and lack of reliable transportation, that one experience was enough. Some people loved it, but I was not one of them.
What I'm really trying to say is that I'm still adjusting to a fundamental shift in my life. There's a script that works for a lot of people that I'm supposed to be following but I'm not feeling it at all, just making occasional stabs whenever I get the energy to do so. We're told to watch out for HALT - hungry, angry, lonely, tired. Hunger I'm used to, anger I've got mostly under control, lonely I've lived with for a long time and have solo hobbies, but being tired is my most important stumbling block that I'm working on. It's a small step, but I think I'll start there. The rest of AA "wisdom" can follow.
posted by AnonymousX at 10:13 PM
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