This weekend my sponsor asked the ever popular question, am I putting my sobriety above everything else? And when AA people say everything, they do mean EVERYTHING except your ability to breathe. The first time I had to answer was with my temporary sponsor at rehab, and we ended up in a bit of an argument about the fact that I'm not willing to profess my adulation of sobriety over my health, family, job, etc. This time I explained further (and my current awesome sponsor accepts that I rationalize everything).
I have the luxury of taking this year to do sobriety as well as I can. The first goal for this year was keeping my job and redeeming myself for the months off that I had to take last year, but without burning myself out. I'm paying for a psychiatrist who knows what the hell he's doing and whom I completely trust, as well as going to the after-care service twice a week for the next many months. In between I'm maintaining my apartment and trying to get all other parts of my practical house in order.
I am putting my sobriety at the top, but am leveraging that to address other aspects of my life that have suffered over the years. Job first, because I very much want to remain there for the foreseeable future; it provides me the ability to afford being in Manhattan, satisfies my intellectual curiosity, and I work with the best group of people imaginable. Family comes in as a photo-finish second, although not without some major reservations. I'm trying to improve relationships, but still have to protect myself and expend effort to keep from being sucked back in to very dysfunctional patterns. Health I'm addressing as needed, sleep being paramount in that arena.
Life as a whole is complicated, and asking a "simple" question like this and expecting only a yes or no isn't happening in my world. Things aren't simple or easy, it requires constant re-evaluation and adjustment to the situations that arise. Taking sobriety as a piece and a building block makes the most sense for me, so it co-exists as part of a very important foundation. She was satisfied with that answer, and I am as well for now.
I have the luxury of taking this year to do sobriety as well as I can. The first goal for this year was keeping my job and redeeming myself for the months off that I had to take last year, but without burning myself out. I'm paying for a psychiatrist who knows what the hell he's doing and whom I completely trust, as well as going to the after-care service twice a week for the next many months. In between I'm maintaining my apartment and trying to get all other parts of my practical house in order.
I am putting my sobriety at the top, but am leveraging that to address other aspects of my life that have suffered over the years. Job first, because I very much want to remain there for the foreseeable future; it provides me the ability to afford being in Manhattan, satisfies my intellectual curiosity, and I work with the best group of people imaginable. Family comes in as a photo-finish second, although not without some major reservations. I'm trying to improve relationships, but still have to protect myself and expend effort to keep from being sucked back in to very dysfunctional patterns. Health I'm addressing as needed, sleep being paramount in that arena.
Life as a whole is complicated, and asking a "simple" question like this and expecting only a yes or no isn't happening in my world. Things aren't simple or easy, it requires constant re-evaluation and adjustment to the situations that arise. Taking sobriety as a piece and a building block makes the most sense for me, so it co-exists as part of a very important foundation. She was satisfied with that answer, and I am as well for now.
posted by AnonymousX at 7:57 PM
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