Tuesday I told my doctor about quitting AA, Thursday my group, and yesterday I dropped off a thank you card to my ex-sponsor since we did spend quite a bit of time over four months of Sundays. I feel like I can close that chapter without any regrets over my involvement and accountability which is satisfying.

There's one big catch though - now what? Where do I go from here when it comes to meeting new people? How do I find out what's going on with me medically since doctors have come up with a big fat zero for any obvious ailments, and how much of my physical pain is just in my head? These are big questions and while I already have a start by continuing with my doctors and groups, those will reach a point in about another six months where I'll need to live my life unsupported.

I'll be on my own after a year, and although I have been in many ways over the past five months, I think the longer my isolation goes on the more difficult it will be to sustain myself mentally. I'll have to keep a positive attitude daily. Remind myself often that I do have a lot in my life professionally, financial security to a degree, moderate health remaining, and an independent, stubborn streak that has kept me going through now and has the ability to let me persevere.

Mostly I need to learn to let regrets go, renew my relationship with my family, and maybe someday learn to trust people again. Simple, right? *sigh*