Amazingly enough the holidays went very well, relatively. No outright fights and less friction than expected from various family members, which is more than I could have hoped for.

Today my parents met with my shrink after months of asking, and that too went rather well, mostly because I'd forbidden him to tell them I was still drinking. I'm sure Thursday we'll have a lot to talk about, but I already had my usual emotional protective wall up when we all were together so no crying. No discussion afterwards either since I had to go to work, so that avoided a lot of awkwardness.

Funnily enough, most of what they talked about was them, and how they've tried to change since my diagnosis and month in the hospital.  It's probably cathartic for them since they don't talk to each other about it, and kept the main focus off of me so that was perfect by my standards. It's always enlightening to see how screwed up they are since it explains a lot of where my neuroses come from, including the alcoholism.

Yes, I'm still pessimistic about the future, but this should get them off my back for a while and maybe allow me to enjoy Christmas without the oppressive unspoken worry cloud that hangs over them whenever I'm around.

There's still work to do in terms of getting them to accept that I'm dying without precipitating that cloud but I suppose that's next. Yay.