So it's been 36+ hours and I'm still in a rage about this. My uncle, who is 90, had a serious incident where he was in hospital and then discharged. My cousin, who also has cirrhosis but has never held a job and basically been trying to get rid of any hint of responsibility, lives with him.

Said cousin has not even been giving him medication on time or sometimes at all when he himself should have learned the grind over the over ten years of my aunt having end stage diabetes & kidney disease before she died, possible bipolar disease himself (we've never been able to nail that one down), and my uncle having a stroke about a decade ago.

Thankfully my other, responsible cousin has taken over and taken my uncle into his home and I know he will be taken care of, but if there was any chance of me ever giving the other cousin aid or shelter, fuck him. I know co-dependency runs strong in our family as well as every dysfunctional thing ever, I disavow. I will not, and do not support a complete excuse for basic failures.

 I also understand occasional failures such as me crying most of the day between the new biopsy, the failure of my cousin and relief about my other cousin picking up duties, frustration about not being able to be there, and a lot of emotions jammed into a very short amount of time. I want nothing more than just rest, but I shudder when I lay down since my nervous system is thrown into overdrive. All I can do is try and make myself breathe.