I know it's been a long time, but there were reasons.

At the beginning of April I wrote about what had originated as a  fun European trip has added to the work, psychological, and social stress I was enduring. I scheduled this one "long" vacation a year and a half ago, and it morphed into a nightmare of work training for the last three months since colleagues don't give retirement or quitting notice equal to training period necessities, and I'm the one stuck doing triple duty.

In the meantime, the other three family members on the trip are all retired and bothered me incessantly about things to do in between which I had no time for.

Luckily I pulled it together, managed to make it, and LOVED it. The trip reminded me of how worthwhile it can be to travel and part of me also understands why my sister left her job so she could travel when and where she wanted to. Then the logical part of my brain re-asserts why I value job security and benefits, so yeah, it's still a once every two or three years thing for me, but I should start planning the next trip now.

It also reminded me of two things. First, I was right and my parents are definitely hitting a physical wall. They're slower than they were in Hawaii three years ago, so the window for strenuous vacations is definitely narrowing.

Second, the importance of staying flexible mentally and physically. I love my aunt but she has lived in a very narrow bubble for the past two decades, living alone and having things exactly her way. I roomed with her and the patience and tolerance I needed to deal with her constant complaints about mundane issues (her hair, the tissues, her hair, the travel arrangements, her hair, the walking...) made me appreciate my relative adaptability. I'd rather see new places than look good while doing so and if that means frizzy hair and sweating, I'm totally okay with that.

The trip was from Basel to Amsterdam and in every location we went on at least one tour explaining the region, history, or some unique facet of that place which gained me more insight than reading a dozen books about them. I would also give a thumbs up to the river cruise idea, although I'm not 100% sure I'd go with Viking again for a few specific reasons. And so it's back to work on Tuesday, hopefully refreshed enough to continue the day to day while thinking of the future.

It's always a turning point when you see your parents becoming the ones that you take care of, when they start slowing down, needing naps, not sleeping at night and learning that they can't do everything they used to be capable of without thinking about it. Now it requires a re-calibration of those thoughts, both for parent and child.

It started about five years ago. They'd already driven cross-country twice, once for their honeymoon in 1973, once in 1990 with my sister and I, but whirlwind trips across National Parks and various interstates to the West and back were doable at that point in our lives. The third time they planned this was post-retirement when they were 67. I looked at their itinerary and had doubts, as it was the old schedule of a night here, a night there, 13 hours of driving in between. Ok, I figured they've done it before, so they'd be fine.

Sure enough, they had to cut the trip short because of health issues, although not severe, but it was a wake up call that maybe things are hitting that turning point. My sister and I will have to advocate as the adult caretaker, and the sooner we realize that and step into that role, maybe the better it will be. It's a hard move to make and usually is a one way trip, but better to mentally prepare yourself now. Later, you rarely get a chance to make it as smooth of a transition as it can be and realizing and accepting that this is necessary for them, especially when they might soon have to give up some control over their lives that they're used to having, is easier in degrees

I hope it doesn't come to that. I hope my sister can help. I hope I can. I hope.

I'm more used to the forum, and vice versa. It's weird but good, which describes the usual contributors who I see pop up in every thread. It went from politics to an incidental mention of which pasta holds sauce better to an art forum and then back to politics. I loved it, and the other librarian on the thread seems to be finally accepting me so I'm not as self-conscious.

The irony is that I'm somehow supposed to find kindred spirits in AA. Do I have a hell of a story to tell? Yes. Do I feel that I can tell it and be understood? No. And there lies the rub; somehow I'm supposed to be comfortable sharing in a room of people things that I would only tell my closest friend.

It's frustrating, exasperating, shaming, and infuriating all at the same time, and most of all the anger blows up accompanied with the embarrassment factor of all of this. Those feelings I can share with AA members. It's everything else health-wise that I've found more acceptance, understanding, and similar issue with the forum, ironically. People who have chronic diseases, almost bled to death, various mental health issues who at least are coping as best as they can.

If I could have it in person it would be ideal. I'll settle for online for now.

I saw They Might Be Giants again, after many years (maybe 2007 was the last time?) and it was certainly an adventure. My sister planned the trip which meant I got to relive what it was like to travel like I was 22 again. I kept up surprisingly well considering I've gotten used to traveling in style instead of the shoestring hostel and couch crashing days, lol.

We were on a Bolt Bus to Philly a little after 1 on Saturday, then walked from the 30th St. train station to Center City where our hotel was. After a great dinner at Barbuzzo, where we sat watching the kitchen work, it was back to the hotel to wait out a rain shower. Then we started walking to the Theater of the Living Arts on South Street. And walking. And walking. It had to be at least 2 miles, and general admission was standing of course so we were on our feet and moving for four hours in a row.

TMBG rocked as always and I realized that they've been touring for just about 30 years and still could put on a three hour show with a half hour intermission! It was absolutely awesome and a great mix of classic and new songs. We Ubered back to the hotel since it was pouring when we got out (first time I've ever used an Uber), slept, brunched at Reading Terminal Market and then back to 30th St. for our Bolt Bus back to NYC on Sunday.

A little over 24 hours later I was back in my apartment marveling at how much we managed to do in a single day. I often forget just how much can be done since inertia has become such a part of my life and it was a great reminder that I'm still capable of doing things like this with the proper motivation. Thank you sister, and TMBG FTW!