I'm more used to the forum, and vice versa. It's weird but good, which describes the usual contributors who I see pop up in every thread. It went from politics to an incidental mention of which pasta holds sauce better to an art forum and then back to politics. I loved it, and the other librarian on the thread seems to be finally accepting me so I'm not as self-conscious.

The irony is that I'm somehow supposed to find kindred spirits in AA. Do I have a hell of a story to tell? Yes. Do I feel that I can tell it and be understood? No. And there lies the rub; somehow I'm supposed to be comfortable sharing in a room of people things that I would only tell my closest friend.

It's frustrating, exasperating, shaming, and infuriating all at the same time, and most of all the anger blows up accompanied with the embarrassment factor of all of this. Those feelings I can share with AA members. It's everything else health-wise that I've found more acceptance, understanding, and similar issue with the forum, ironically. People who have chronic diseases, almost bled to death, various mental health issues who at least are coping as best as they can.

If I could have it in person it would be ideal. I'll settle for online for now.