I find myself wondering time and again if I'm heading for the "right thing" instead of knowing I'm heading for the "wrong thing." The choices seem transparent sometimes and other times are as clear as mud.

I'm referring to my potential job search. Do I want to turn my life upside down again only to fall into the same traps? Would it really be better somewhere else? Can I muster the initiative to do the rounds again in terms of finding something? I know I have a lot of leeway in certain ways where I am, but it was hard earned after 12 years, so starting again isn't something I would look forward to.

It's frustration, anger, fear, and apprehension whenever I think about it which makes me want to just retreat into my shell. There was a time when I was more open to change but I think that time has passed. If I go for another job it will be all out. I just have to make that decision.