I've proposed (in my head) a simple manual for my coworker related to a children's book. However, this one would be called Calm the Fuck Down, with little vignettes of the many times, sometimes multiple times a day, he calls or contacts me upset because there's a screw-up.

He wants concrete answers to everything, but the point is that nothing is concrete and this database is flawed so you have to roll with it and check with the client as to what they're really looking for. Then he gets stressed out and contacts me to solve what he's done, or tell him it wasn't possible in the first place and I'm tired of being the brunt of this.

I've mostly held my tongue around our boss, only giving hints that this is happening since I technically have no direct responsibility, but I may have to blow his cover just to preserve my sanity. He's getting himself into situations that are not appropriate for our department, sending wrong results, and I've counseled him against every single one because I know what would happen.

He also spends days on these mishaps when we have dozens of other requests that need his attention, but it's like he has blinders on. I'm on the verge of letting him fall victim to his own dogmatic insistence, but I'll give him a few more chances. It's what I do, but seriously. Calm the Fuck Down.