I miss New York City so much it hurts. It's not just missing the convenience of shopping by walking around the neighborhood or the proximity of restaurants, parks, museums, or just looking out over the East River when the moon rises. The gentle breezes of summer and the harsh winds of winter. The snows that can go from a coating on the trees to giant drifts that cover cars parked on the street, or the thunderstorm downpours that flood the gutters and subways and make walking home more like wading home.

What I miss the most is the diversity that fosters a greater sense of community. It's being jammed into a 4 or 5 train carriage at rush hour with all ethnicities while a fight almost starts in the hot, crowded car because someone stepped on someone else by accident when the car hit a curve. Rolling my eyes while I cling to the pole, and listening to me and others murmuring to just let it go man, it's not personal, just an accident. It's not about who's black or Asian or white. We're all just tired from the day, trying to get home as fast as possible and in that sense we are connected in the most basic purpose. That gives me more of a sense of calm than any of the scenarios depicted in the first paragraph.

The suburbs don't offer that. It's all about MY property or THOSE people along with a dose of general nosiness as long as others stay at arms length. There's a strong delineation of privacy but in the most judgmental way possible. No shared experiences or sense of empathy, no common feeling of daily inconveniences except when it's about blaming someone else, be it the local, state, or federal government, the HOA, the immigrants and Hispanics which all too often find themselves unjustified targets. Maybe it's different in suburbs where families have kids, but retirees are the worst.

There's more to life than this pettiness.