For most of my life it's been an ongoing struggle to manage my health, both physical and mental. It stretched beyond anything considered even close to normal on both fronts, ending up with multiple hospitalizations for the physical.

Within my short 41 years, if there was a genetic inclination toward a problem I seemed to collect all that were possible. Appendicitis - check. Arthritis in joints - check. Hernias - check. Weak immune system - check. Ovarian cysts - check. Strabismus (esotropia), nearsightedness, and astigmatism in my eyes - check.

I now have a new permanent health failure, hyperthyroidism. I knew it ran in the family since my dad had a flare-up of Graves disease when he was in his late 30s, and is now on thyroid medication because the treatment killed too much of his thyroid, but it looks like I'm just entering my own phase. I've always asked for the usual TSH tests when I went for my annual physicals since I know I have the potential, and now, after a test of 0 in October and a recommended repeat in 3 months in January also showing 0, it's definite. I would guess I've been running 0 for about a year, so it probably happened just about the time my entire life fell apart. Perhaps it's appropriate to throw another problem on the pile.

As it turns out I have to wait 2 more months to see an endocrinologist since availability is not what it would be in NYC. There seem to be three decent endos within half an hour of here but they're all booked solid in the near term. So I get to deal with exacerbated fatigue, random thirst, irritability, hair loss, internal temperature fluctuations, and a few other fun symptoms until that time. Luckily I'm already on a beta blocker and medication for anxiety so palpitations are already fairly well-controlled.

I guess the only silver lining here is that this was hereditary. Perhaps for the first time in a while I can present as a case without the baggage caused once the doctor hears about my history of substance abuse and the health problems it has caused. Maybe I won't see that dismissive look that I'm no longer worthy of treatment because I brought it on myself. Maybe.