On May 11th I'm going to start an Intro to Python course that will let me learn the basics before committing the full amount to a boot camp. God, I can't believe I'm even saying that since it sounds so trendy and pretentious, and FUCK I hate that this is the best option I have available. I know that it's a gamble since three months of learning can never equal a full degree in CS or a decade of actual coding experience but it's better than nothing, which is what I have right now.

I had to find a copy of one of my diplomas to send in as proof that I have graduated with a degree in the past, and I rifled through the box of papers I have here. Sure enough, I couldn't find my masters, but I did find my bachelors. Close enough I suppose.

In the meantime my sister is asking if I put it in a drawer and I snapped "of course not." Why? Because she has spent seven years with her stuff dumped here, so there are no drawers available for me. What I do have are two drawers with my clothes, part of a hallway closet, various other boxes or places I've tucked things away, and a small storage unit. My masters degree is probably in fucking storage with everything else.

I'll try to apply myself to this course without resentment even though I know I'm angry all the time. I have to decide to do this for me, and try not to feel forced into it. I used to love to learn, now I guess getting back to that might let me work towards having space of my own again, where I can find my things again. Maybe where I can find myself again.