Another job has been posted which seems...well...completely ideal if I want a normal, boring life, and I'm actually low-key psyched about it. It's a regular adult reference librarian job in a county branch, not the county seat's main library, and since it's NJ state-affiliated the benefits would HAVE to be better than my last corporate job.

Of course, I'm nervous that I'll be overlooked or dismissed as overqualified, or there could be a perfect public librarian wanting the job instead, or any of the myriad factors that cause so many job applications to disappear into the void, but I can't control those things. I can, however, double-check my resume, tailor my cover letter, and hope like hell that they do pick me.

I would be taking a 33% pay cut, but I've built that into my expectations since public sector will never pay as well as finance did, even if I was on the very low end of the scale there. I would make enough to have a decent apartment, decent car, and most importantly, my health wouldn't be constantly eroded by the insane stressors of a completely dysfunctional organization. For evidence that I wasn't the only one, about half of my ex-colleagues had stress-induced illnesses as well, and about a quarter were alcoholics or alcohol abusers too. Three had died in a five year period, one from brain cancer, one from an autoimmune disease, and one from a heart attack. It was obviously not the healthiest work environment.

A part of me is still tormented by knowing that this means the dream of NYC is over, but at this point, I feel I've partially accepted it on a deeper level than before. Tomorrow I'll submit the application with my eyes wide open to what this will mean, then cross my fingers and wait.