Happy New Year! My mother finally initiated "the talk" with me that it's time to get another job, despite the fact that since getting vaccinated I've been applying for literally every job in my field that's opened up around here with zero success besides two interviews. We're too isolated here, and librarianship is a dying field so I knew the odds weren't in my favor when I started but figured I could at least try. I think I'm firmly in the failure category at this point.

Now she thinks it's time to widen the search, which I agree with in theory. The difficulties lie in the state of the job market and the high cost of living anywhere in NJ. Anything decent to rent will be at least $1,500/month, so I need a pretty decent salary to comfortably afford that, along with good benefits, and jobs like that are few and far between as companies look to cut costs in every possible way. The lack of large companies down here also impacts me since it's not like I can depend on an employer that's constantly looking for new entry level hires.

Adding to this is the Covid factor, of course. Any job that I could find that's at all public-facing means that before I manage to move out, there's a very substantial risk of a variant like omicron coming along that evades vaccines and carrying it back home to my retired parents who never would have been exposed otherwise. That's a scenario I've tried very hard to avoid for their health and my own sanity.

I don't know what to do. I knew that choosing to leave my old job and NYC would mean a substantial step backwards but the pandemic threw a whole toolbox of wrenches in the situation at the same time. I'm tired of having nightmares about it. I'm tired of all of this, and the new year only promises to bring more pain and self-doubt. So be it.