Oh my God, it's been a hell of a week, partly in a good way (for my career), partly in a bad way (for my anxiety). Wednesday I had my first round interview for the county college position I applied for and the position sounds like a normal academic librarian - far too much work for far too little pay - but if I make it to the second round (interview with the president of the college for God's sake) I'll give it my best shot on the supposition that job in my field > no job in my field.

I was also playing a bit of phone tag with the SIB job for a first round screening call (are you vaccinated, can we lowball you on salary, etc), and finally completed that with the promise of a follow-up next week to set up an interview with the information services department manager who would, presumably, be my actual boss. However, mission accomplished for now and I don't think I absolutely bombed anything, which is a yardstick for success in my worldview.

I'm trying not to second guess myself too much, plus I had the peanut gallery (parents and sister) offering unsolicited advice after each call. While I do value feedback, my parents haven't done interviews since the late 1960s, and the world was very different back then in so many ways. They still find it incomprehensible that resumes often disappear into a black void for all the seeker is concerned and that no one ever gets back to you, nor can you contact HR any further. My sister has some valid points but nitpicks and turns everything into an exercise in how it would impact her, so that's also of limited value, but I've learned that this is who they are, and it will not change.

Either way these turn out, they won't say that I didn't try, however, and I might earn some form of stay of execution where I can wait out something substantial that will hire me. I know I can do these jobs. I just don't know if I can communicate that effectively enough or that they will pay enough to make this worth my while. I hated the job limbo of day to day futility, but seem to have traded it for the job hunting limbo of futility, where the most glaring difference is not getting paid to feel that way.

I don't regret having left my job with LIB. I do wish there were better options out there, though.