I am officially 200 pounds now for the first time in my life. It's a little scary, to be honest, since I have never been a large girl, but between aging, stress, and sedentary lifestyle I've finally hit the magic number where I look at it and go "holy shit." I know that a lot of it is from eating my feelings - living here is defeating from an adult perspective, and the constant yelling between my parents makes me anxious even though I don't get involved. The constant close quarters and micromanagement of my every day activities is also very anxiety-inducing as I never feel like I have privacy. I'm trying to keep calm and carry on but it's definitely shown in my diet. I can't get pleasure in life many other ways right now so food is the easiest and tastiest option.

There has been some progress in terms of my weight at least stabilizing, and the weather is getting nicer so if I have the energy and inclination I can always go for a walk in the mornings before I start work even though I know me. That's the last thing I want to do since I'm just not functional in the mornings, but I'm going to have to try. I really need to get out of here more often anyway since my patience is definitely fraying with the living situation. I will pay more than I want to, but god I hope it will be worth it. Something's definitely got to change.