To say it was a quiet Christmas is putting it lightly. My aunt is still recovering from Covid so we postponed her visit to a New Yearsmas celebration on Friday. Small catch - I'm working that day so for me the festivities stop at 1pm but since my sister chose the day I come out on the short end of this scenario again. For someone who once held down a full-time job it's amazing how little priority she places on respecting the hours of mine (meaning not amazing at all but par for the course) :P.

Yet another good reason to get the hell out of this house to where I can finally have some say over my own schedule and set my own priorities. I'm mostly packed and luckily because of New Years I'll only be working next Tuesday, so if I can get all of my addresses changed and finish packing by Monday night I'll only have to break down my work setup.

I'm definitely nervous. I'm in worse physical shape then the last time I moved and I know it takes a lot of stamina and it will be a very long day, but I can do this. I'm strong enough.

I was up early every day last week calling utilities, changing addresses and insurance, and hiring movers and I was exhausted by the end of it. And I'm not even done yet! This is now Stage B - getting ready for the move, Stage C is the actual move, and finally Stage D is the unpacking and final changes to the new address. I know that I did this many times (when I moved into the city I moved 3 times in a year and a half while switching jobs AND having a social life, how the hell did I do that?) but I'm often reminded how much harder it is when you're older and have less energy.

My dad's birthday and parents' anniversary is over, though, my aunt has Covid so she probably won't make it down here for Christmas, and the weather on Friday is canceling the trip we were going to take to the cemetery, so my family obligations are finished for now. I'm bummed that I won't get to see my cousins at the rescheduled cemetery trip next week, but I can't take the day off since so many other people are out already. The joys of being new on the totem pole and working at a smaller bank so we have less people to cover, but I know my cousins will understand, probably more than my parents do, since they've worked corporate jobs too.

I really need to sit down and make a list. Having something concrete where I can feel accomplished checking off a box when something gets done definitely makes me more productive and willing to manage my time better, so that's the next goal. I'm still bound and determined to make this work.

 It is done! Well, the first part at least. Yesterday I signed the lease for the apartment and today I picked up the keys and got the measurements done to start planning the layout. Because of the holidays I'm going to move the first week in January, but it feels so good to know that I FINALLY have an out.

In the time it took for me to say I wanted to pick up the keys, I had the entire household volunteer themselves to come with me since in this house no one can do anything without everyone else being all up in their business, similar to phone calls where I get unsolicited advice about what I said and how I should have said it. My sister decided to freak out about me not having dual insurance on the apartment (there's nothing in there to insure yet!) and my storage unit, then freak out about the fact that it's one day ahead of the official lease start date and refuse to set foot in the apartment, so she walked to get coffee while we were measuring. My mom managed to throw 12 different fits about how and where we were measuring, and literally answered every question my dad asked me before I could even open my mouth to reply, so she was control freaking as usual. My dad was barely restraining frustration over the process, as was I, but at least he was more supportive of me this time. And then it was back home to work - the least stressful part of the day!

And they wonder why I want to get the fuck out of this house.

I've switched the power to my name, there was a screw-up with Optimum, and I have to start calling moving companies to get an idea of availability for my desired move date, but that will be tomorrow morning. Until then I just need everyone in the family to calm the fuck down and let me handle this. I'm good at planning and I tend to be good at handling problems as they arise with only small panic attacks, so from now until moving it's focusing on the order of what's important.

Organize the move and take days off of work. Celebrate my dad's birthday (the 17th). Celebrate my parents' anniversary (the 19th). Visit my aunt's and uncle's graves (the 23rd). Do Christmas (25th). Do New Years. Actually move. It sounds like a pretty good timeline so it will just be a matter of making it work no matter what, and then I can have my freedom again! I'm in the home stretch.

Today I finally starting packing since I want everything as prepared as possible, and I'm realizing yet again how little I took with me. And there still wasn't enough room here, which is the sad part, since my sister was already monopolizing the space. I did get the bed in the back room (not my own bed, which is still in storage) but I think that was more because of my sleep schedule and the fact that I was so incredibly unhealthy when I came here.

Worst of all, while I've been living with my parents I've been forced to become a nonentity, since my sister has been using this as her permanent address for eight years and the community has a limit that only one adult child is allowed to live here. I wasn't allowed to vote, have anything in my name, or tell anyone in the area that I live here full time. It's been frustrating and is one reason I'm moving out as soon as I could after getting my new job - it's just mentally damaging to have always felt that my sister is the golden child and now I feel like the black sheep in a whole new way since I'm legally not even supposed to be here. All because she won't grow up and live an independent life again.

So one and a half boxes later, my stuff in the back room and hall closest are packed. With each box I think I'll feel a little lighter, a little more that I'm finally getting closer to something resembling a normal life. I can belong somewhere rather than being hidden in the back room, unable to claim ownership of anything and trying to cram the small things I kept into a space that was designed for someone else. Tuesday can't come fast enough so I can officially say I have signed for a place of my own again.

I guess this is another example of the squeaky wheel gets the grease, which is a role I hate playing, but I will when I have to. The real estate agent contacted me with a new apartment number that will be available Dec. 15th, so I rode up to the complex today to see exactly what building it's in. It isn't ideal as it faces north so there's minimal light, and I saw a tricycle on the balcony next door so there's presumably a younger child living there, but neither of those things are complete deal breakers.

If I really hate it I can move in a year or two but most importantly this apartment is on the second floor so I won't have to worry much about security. The upshot is that December 13th I'm meeting with the agent to sign the lease, and from there it will be organizing the move around the holidays. That also isn't ideal, but it has to be done. 

Luckily I was proactive, and the Sunday after Thanksgiving I sat down and wrote out all of my Christmas cards so that's out of the way. As for cookies, my sister will have to step up this year, or they simply won't get done, which is a more likely scenario. The first time I went to rehab it was over the holidays, and instead of making a solid effort for 4+ hours of baking she decided to skip them. I'm expecting a repeat if I don't complete my move pre-Christmas, but we'll see. Sometimes she surprises me in a good way.

This week I'll work on figuring out what days I'll need off from work since I carried over 5 days I've mentally earmarked for moving, and I'm going through what I have here in the house. I should probably notify the storage place I'm leaving, and contact Verizon and JCP&L and...oy. This is going to be a process but completely worth it to have my own space again!