Today I finally starting packing since I want everything as prepared as possible, and I'm realizing yet again how little I took with me. And there still wasn't enough room here, which is the sad part, since my sister was already monopolizing the space. I did get the bed in the back room (not my own bed, which is still in storage) but I think that was more because of my sleep schedule and the fact that I was so incredibly unhealthy when I came here.

Worst of all, while I've been living with my parents I've been forced to become a nonentity, since my sister has been using this as her permanent address for eight years and the community has a limit that only one adult child is allowed to live here. I wasn't allowed to vote, have anything in my name, or tell anyone in the area that I live here full time. It's been frustrating and is one reason I'm moving out as soon as I could after getting my new job - it's just mentally damaging to have always felt that my sister is the golden child and now I feel like the black sheep in a whole new way since I'm legally not even supposed to be here. All because she won't grow up and live an independent life again.

So one and a half boxes later, my stuff in the back room and hall closest are packed. With each box I think I'll feel a little lighter, a little more that I'm finally getting closer to something resembling a normal life. I can belong somewhere rather than being hidden in the back room, unable to claim ownership of anything and trying to cram the small things I kept into a space that was designed for someone else. Tuesday can't come fast enough so I can officially say I have signed for a place of my own again.