This weekend has been a catch up on sleep one. I'm totally exhausted and only just getting to a place where I can feel like I'm not pushing myself way too hard just to do minimal things. On Wednesday I woke up late for work, which has never happened in the almost two years I've been at SIB. I'm ashamed it occurred, but took it as a sign that I really need to rest. 

Last weekend was all about my Mom's birthday, I drove down on Sunday, let her drive my car to the Wheaton Village, got a gorgeous blue glass pumpkin with white stripes, and we had great family time! However, this weekend had to be devoted to me to allow recovery time.

I've never had much stamina, and as I age it's only decreased. When I was in middle school/high school my mom would give me a day off just to sleep every once in a while as I needed recovery time even then. Since working full time I've found again that I am not meant for this grind. The idea of having a "side hustle" terrifies me since I know that I wouldn't have the energy to do so. 

This is not to say that I haven't tried. I've given 110% at all of my jobs until I couldn't anymore, and each time it eats me up to know that my best and more than that aren't enough. I've learned to back off, and take time when necessary, although sometimes I'm blindsided and run out of energy, like on Wednesday.

So I screwed up on Wed since I expended too much energy for my Mom's birthday. I need to forgive myself, move forward, and do the best I can given my limitations.