I've been going through all of the emotions. Life has just been taking more and more of my time and I've been spending too much time just trying to process everything. I think one of the things I miss most about not being in NYC is the random acts of kindness you could do on a daily basis.

The times when someone was crying on the subway and you could offer a pack of tissues and wish them well with whatever was happening with them (without asking what it was). The times when you could offer food if you had leftovers from a restaurant. The times when you could try to help someone up who had fallen, or call the EMT at the emergency help point if I couldn't lift them (I'm kind of small, so if it was a guy who couldn't stand up it was tough).

Of all the things I miss, that just never occurred to me that it would be so strange to be somewhere that I can't help people if possible. I was always careful not to put myself in dangerous situations, but I find myself feeling hugely isolated that I can't do that anymore, even though it wasn't intentional, it was just daily life where I saw someone who needed a helping hand.

Maybe it's because I'm a librarian, which is a caring profession. Maybe it's just a weakness in my nature. Either way, I hope that I make the world a little bit better for those who need it, even if I don't interact with thousands of people a day any more.