Since it's crazy warm for this time of year, I went down to the beach to try and see the Orionids. No luck, since the moon was up and there are lights on the boardwalk, so the light pollution kept me from seeing anything, but I treated myself to two small scoops of ice cream when I got back home.

Still, the ocean was lovely, and I'm glad I at least tried. The boardwalk was deserted unlike on Sunday when I walked the whole length of it from South Pavilion to North Pavilion and I felt a little unsafe, but living in NYC has taught me that while technically there may be some danger, unless it's clear and present in front of you you'll probably be fine.

I'll probably try at least once more to see the meteor shower, and if it doesn't work again, well, I always have ice cream to (mildly) cheat on my diet lol.

I was all ready to have my endoscopy, then got a call yesterday that the doctor had a family emergency. So now it's going to be on Oct. 24th (after they first tried to reschedule me for Dec. 10th and I was like "Are you kidding me?"). I understand that doctors are overwhelmed nowadays, particularly specialists, but if you can't get to someone within a month or two, maybe stop accepting new patients? Even my dentist is scheduling a cavity filling two months after the appointment for a cleaning where they found it.

If it's this hard to see a doctor here, where the population is pretty high, but we have a LOT of hospitals and medical offices, I can't even imagine what it must be like to try and get an appointment in the rural areas where the hospitals have been shutting down. In another weird twist here, my primary care doctor gave up his hospital privileges since apparently hospitalists take over to coordinate in-hospital care nowadays. I guess it's a new trend, although I don't 100% trust it.

It's also interesting that every doctor I have discourages their children from going into the field, things have gotten that bad with insurance and reimbursement and I suspect that some parts of the medical field are reaching a breaking point. Hopefully if Kamala is elected she can get Congress to minimize the insurance aspect of healthcare, although considering the number of pharma/insurance lobbyists it might not be possible. And because Republicans suck and believe in the "Die Quickly" form of healthcare since it doesn't affect them directly.

Only time will tell. I'm happy the election is soon so I'll know if it's going to be another 4 years of Trump's shitshow, or if there's hope for the country after all.

I have a cranberry pecan cake in the oven since I've decided I'm cheating on my diet this week. I've lost 70 pounds over the past year and a half and damn, it sucks. I'm hungry a lot but its worth it for the weight loss, especially since I know it does make me healthier.

My family went to the Wheaton Arts Halloween festival which is fun, but the amount of people I saw there makes me wonder about this country (of course a lot of things do that, including that Trump might end up back in office, much to my horror). People are either thin or probably about 300 pounds; few in the middle. I get it, it's easier, particularly as you get older, to put on weight, but when I hit a certain point I said "not happening." Do people not notice? Or not care that they are a size 20+?

I've resigned myself to the fact that I'm probably never going to have a flat stomach again, since fat cells are permanent and I let myself go during Covid, but I do fit into a Large size again, and might be able to pull a Medium instead of straining the top end of the Extra-Large category. Considering how I see myself, as weak and dealing with many vices, this was the somewhat easier thing I could improve. I hope that so many there and elsewhere manage to work on themselves, mentally, physically, and just overall, to make things better. Accept that nothing is perfect, but work towards being healthier.

Also, Prime Day just happened and I was thrilled to get 2 new tops for next summer on sale that I fit into now. Those little things make the hunger worthwhile lol.

Argh, work has been driving me nuts since it's the busy season until the holidays roll around and my colleagues have been taking off days to use before the end of our fiscal year. So I've been leaving stuff in the queue, since I will not bend over backward when our management allows 3 out of 10 people off on the same day.

But I'm working on life. I have to drop off my new lease, and just do maintenance stuff around the apartment and in general. Tomorrow I will attempt to catch up and on Sunday we're going to a craft fair where they do amazing glass work. I need to focus less on work and more on doing fun things on the weekend, especially since the summer crowd is mostly gone.

Are things perfect? No. But they are tolerable for now, and I'll take that.