I've started quite a few other posts, but am not articulating myself as well as I would like, so I'll go with a fluff post instead :).

Lately Jurassic Park I, II, and III have been on AMC almost non-stop, I would guess in preparation for Jurassic World's opening. I have seen all of them multiple times although the original has my true dedication for many reasons.

I had read the Michael Crichton novel prior to seeing the first film and appreciated it, but was blown away by the 1993 Spielberg version. If I recall correctly, we were vacationing over the summer in Bar Harbor, Maine during one of their hottest spells, so to escape the heat we went to the theater. And wow. I've always been a science nerd, even if not a particularly avid paleontology fan, but I'd seen the 4th floor gallery in the American Museum of Natural History in New York many times (back before they repositioned the main lobby T-Rex ;) ), and was simply mesmerized by watching this come to life with what was as close to authenticity as possible, and with a compelling, compassionate human story.  Even if it didn't match the book note by note, the original JP was its own special variant of the idea and the novel.

I saw it 3 times in the theaters to catch more nuances, and appreciate how well a strange yet mainstream movie like Jurassic Park could be told in an astute mix of sci-fi, but really focusing on human flaws and hubris, examining ethics, chaos theory, and the awesome power of nature, past and present. This wasn't a simple summer blockbuster.

Questions were implied of the unintended implications after evolution takes its course, not just hypothetical dinosaurs, but human errors. Even something as relatively "simple" as we have done by introducing species to regions they were not meant for, in creatures like African honeybees, snakehead fish, plants like kudzu that strangle the native flora. What is proper manipulation or population control of a foreign predator? Is there any possibility of  realistically keeping it in check, and if not, what are the consequences? If it you lose control, what are the acceptable losses or solutions going forward?

These are natural and unfortunate actual examples of the type of thinking that I found expressed well in the original Crichton and JP. Anyone who's read Crichton's books know that he has always drawn from a very scientific background, but this was one of the first movies adapted from a book that I found really embraced the philosophy behind it to raise some important questions if you listened and understood the subtext. It impacted me before I knew the actual ecological dangers that had been done since I was barely a teenager, but even then I grasped there was an important message there.

The original, even when re-released on the 20 year anniversary, is something special. Yes, the pacing doesn't necessarily hold up, there are a few glaring plot holes (including one large enough to drive a truck through, literally, if you think about it), but my younger mind didn't deceive me. It was still mind-blowing in effects compared to what had been done before by Harryhausen and Lucas. Most importantly, however, the dialogue evoking the human energy, idealism and consequences, ethical arguments, and basic philosophical questions raised still hold true to this day.

Quotes that stuck with me in particular

Ian Malcolm:
"...your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could that they didn't stop to think if they should."

Hammond: When we have control --
Ellie: You never had control, that's the illusion! I mean, I was overwhelmed by the power of this place! But I made a mistake too. I didn't have enough respect for that power and it's out now. The only thing that matters now are the people we love. Alan and Lex and Tim; John, they're out there where people are dying. So...
(Ellie takes a spoonful of the melting ice cream.)
Ellie: It's good.
Hammond: Spared no expense.

Of course Memorial Day is dedicated to those who have served our country in a military capacity, but to me it's always had a secondary dimension, a reminder of those spouses, parents, or siblings who stay behind to keep the domestic pieces together.  I've never known anyone who has been deployed, but having the love and support of those they are separated from is what a civilian can contribute, and it's not a small task to bear.

So today I'm thinking not only of those who have risked or given their lives for our country, but those who have sustained them and, sadly, suffered if their loved one was lost or wounded. To those who stand behind someone in the military, I salute your bravery and strength as well.

Round and round we go. Oddly enough in my life, there have been certain patterns that have repeated without my control over them.  This time around it's another move, back to the original building that I began my career with the LIB back in 2006.  Unfortunately, it also means I'm being pulled off the banker floor, which we have fought tooth and nail to even acquire, and which I've succeeded in keeping since 2011.

It's another slap in the face, effectively demoting us again after our original demotion to Brooklyn last October. They say it's temporary and just for the summer, but I've learned to trust this organization as far I can throw our CEO, so I'm stuck wondering if another promise will be broken. Let's just say that I wouldn't be surprised, but at this point I've had my fill of being exploited, and I want to fight back, even though I know I have very little power to do so in the politics that permeate our organization.

I've always been one of those people where I can tamp down my anger time and again, but the price of that is the inevitable explosion. I've already started intentionally slowing down at work, doing about 2/3rds of what I can do if I'm pushing myself to my true ability.  I've been slowly simmering for months, but now it's time to channel that inevitable explosion.

I think now it's time to renegotiate and reframe in a lot of ways. Most of all, I need a second computer, since my body has taken a beating through arthritis and past injuries that will never heal while I'm forced to haul around a 10 lb laptop 4 times a week. If there's no new computer, no dice. I will work from home before I drag the damn thing back and forth and compromise myself further while being exiled from the bankers.  I need to learn from the past even as it rotates around again and realize that for every ounce of mental and physical energy I have put in, as time goes on and the organization becomes cheaper and more exploitative there are very obvious diminishing returns on my end.

Will I still work hard, and emphasize my particular expertise and unique skills I have? Yes, that's common sense job security.  Will I sacrifice my health, pick up other peoples' messes, or answer what they can't manage to wrap their head around? Not so much. As a  special favor, perhaps, but not on a regular basis, definitely not until I get them to make a minimal investment in me with the second computer.

I know that working life for those of us who hold what were once middle class jobs has nosedived, particularly post-recession, but this was the thing that really made me come very close to exploding at work in a non-productive way. I'll see if I can work on making this happen. If not, it may be time to look at other options and see how well they can get along without me there at all.

I've always had very physical tendencies, something that isn't necessarily bad, but doesn't always gel with the intellectualism and general quiet nature of research. I can achieve some sort of hyper-focus that allows my best work to happen if I act on my natural inclination to be active (even at a computer).  It means that when I'm doing research, I fidget constantly, knocking a Slinky back and forth, clicking a pen, or rubbing on a worry stone when I don't need both hands to type. It also most likely annoys the crap out of people around me, but I have to move in some way, especially when I'm trying to work out a really difficult problem or need to find inspiration for a completely new solution to the issue.

I love that my job really does push me mentally and creatively, since I don't think I could work for too long where it's always bland and boring. I'm not an extremist, but most of my jobs have been either very physically demanding, which alleviates some of the need for intellectual stimulation through bodily exhaustion, or intensely intellectual, which while excellent for maintaining my ability to think of fresh ways to approach problems, saps my desire for any physical exercise since I'm mentally drained.

Maybe I should found a new type of firm, one where half of your time is spent on the type of logic puzzles and challenging questions we face everyday. Half is spent cleaning the office, maybe working in the kitchen if people love to cook, gardening, mopping floors or whatever physically appeals to the person.  Google kind of has a hybrid version of this, Facebook as well from what I hear. But having experienced doing both kinds of jobs 100% at the time, I really do wish this hybrid existed in many work environments.

It would solve so many problems for both employees and employers.  Employers are constantly harping on "health" and "wellness." Fine, offer your employees part of the day to do physical labor for your company.  It's more productive for you than paying for a gym membership and is great exercise and stress relief. Give the rest of the time for them to face those tough questions, embrace new solutions and innovate better and faster ways to answer the difficult, if not impossible, requests. Let them structure their days however they're most comfortable doing each part, and as long as the work gets done, then they've managed a balance that would be the envy of most office workers.  Some people aren't inclined toward physicality, have a third option.  They get to work whatever percent they want on the intellectual side as long as they contribute physically at least every day for an hour. Let them know there are sanctioned options outside of the current work/gym/home/sleep world where each is separate and you have to sacrifice one to answer the others.

In the meantime, it might teach humility as well.  When I say I've had physical jobs, I'm talking about tossing bales of hay, cleaning cages for small animals of all types (including hedgehogs), mucking out stalls for various livestock, mopping the entire building, hauling giant trash bags that were literally almost my height, and myriad other things that happened to be my responsibility at the time.  I'd never been in better shape, and after these experiences, I know I'm not "above" anything asked of me, unless I know they do it to exploit me.  If I choose the job, however, then I have no complaint.

Do I think this would happen? Not in a million years. But it's an option in the future that might exist.  If it did, I'd be there in a heartbeat instead of annoying my colleagues with my Slinky.