I'm starting to catch up on sleep and also starting to plan my May floor cleaning (I try to do a deep clean every 2-3 months). I'm finding, however, that with my sleep deficit from earlier this month and the fact that buying a house takes almost as much out of me mentally and emotionally as another part-time job would be, I'm still freaking tired on the regular.

I know what would help. Sit down on the weekend, make a checklist for the week even if it's as simple as find out about pre-approval channels and money logistics with all of the sub-steps. If I can line up the questions the night before after I get off of work, then I have the morning to make any calls/visits necessary to at least get a mental structure of what I'll need on a practical basis.

I also know that I don't know what I don't know, but this will get me closer to patching those gaps or at least know someone in the lender/real estate company that can identify anything missing. It's their job, and I'm sure it's boring as shit to go over loan applications, but it's all new to me since I haven't taken any loans since grad school (22 years ago!). Luckily I'm a fast learner, and my parents to help out even though it's been 20+ years for them as well since they bought a new house so times will have changed.

Sleep, off to open house tomorrow, at some point do all the weekly apartment things and squeeze a couple monthly ones in if I can. Cook since I have to use points for this month anyway and Acme gives a pretty good deal on rewards members for meat discount. Not hectic at all for normal people, but definitely add in some layers of difficulty in stamina and mental fortitude in my case.

It's been one of those months where I feel like we're only two days into April instead of 15. Mostly it's because I'm starting to get serious about condo hunting now that I have a pretty firm idea of what I want and need in a home. It doesn't have to be turnkey, but must be clean and fairly well taken care of. I do want a garage since I HATE having to dig my car out in the winter. Full 2 bed, 2 bath, preferably in a complex about 2 minutes away from where I live now so I already know the area and won't have to switch out doctors again.

It's also because my sleep has been indescribably bad. Three hours here, an hour and a half there, if I'm lucky about 6 solid at night, so naps have been keeping me afloat but severely cutting into my block of awake time.

This week will be warm, so I'll sleep with the windows open, it may turn out to be healthier for my breathing. 

I finally got the chance to go see my friend in Florida, and it was amazingly great! Not just because she and I struggle with many of the same issues, so I can completely be myself around her, but because I love spending face to face time rather than just on the phone and it does soothe my (minimal) need for human contact. Random politeness in the supermarket, which is my most common interaction, just doesn't stack up lol.

However, it also physically got me away from here. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my apartment and have worked hard to make it a safe mental haven for me, but there's something completely different about getting on a plane knowing that you're capable of leaving that comfort behind in search of new adventures which has always endeared me to traveling. I go into it knowing that yes, I will spend hours in airports and grabbing horribly overpriced food on the go, but I bring a book or my sewing and know the destination will be worth it.

The last bit of Shawshank Redemption is absolutely spot on in so many ways, but the quote "I find I'm so excited I can barely sit still or hold a thought in my head. I think it's the excitement only a free man can feel, a free man at the start of a long journey whose conclusion is uncertain" covers it so well. I felt it when I went to Hong Kong for a month, when I flew to Europe, even when I was driving to Newport, RI in September. It's the destination, not the nitty gritty of the journey, that makes the stress worthwhile, and allows me to appreciate being home with a new perspective as well when I return.

I discovered Wakulla Springs this time around, spent quality time with my friend, and I'm so grateful that I could re-discover that travel excitement again!